


the art of pretending (and when you get tired of it)

by temposh



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Gen, Not Beta Read, Partners in Crime, cameo from chanyeol, lawyer seho, they steal paintings !
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:36:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26097982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/temposh/pseuds/temposh
Summary: in junmyeon and sehun's contract(yes, of course they have a contract, they're pretending to be lawyers for god's sake),there is only one rule.1.don't get too attached.
Relationships: Kim Junmyeon | Suho & Oh Sehun
Kudos: 5





	the art of pretending (and when you get tired of it)

_Suho & Sehun Law Co._ was the name of their little scheme. 

(Junmyeon had suggested not once, but twice to Sehun that he should go under a pseudonym in the rare case that they might get caught. In response, Sehun proudly said " _I quite like my name, though._ ")

Handpainted, their sign hung proudly above a two-story building, right across from the local favored coffee shop and three blocks down from the town's courthouse. It was small, the atmosphere was welcoming, and the two men moved into the apartment the building had upstairs to make work easier for them. Junmyeon slept on the rickety couch (they really should replace it, they're rich enough) every Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday while Sehun took over the rest of the shifts. 

Junmyeon already had the law degree to get the ball rolling and establish some credibility for himself in the town. Then came Sehun— charming, popular, and according to their ridiculous-yet-somewhat-believable sounding story, he was Junmyeon's younger step-brother as well.

That was the final touch they needed to seem a bit more personable, slightly friendlier than the rest: Family. Once, when speaking to a client, Junmyeon went on and on about how his father was a renowned lawyer in his own hometown (a lie, of course, his father happened to be a fisherman always searching for the rarest biggest fish he could find) and his dreams of replicating it in this one. Then he would say that Sehun was a late bloomer to his epiphany of wanting to enter the family trade, and that he took him in with open arms. In reality, Sehun was a baker from a failed bakery, who dialed up his old highschool friend Junmyeon one day and asked if he knew anyone that was hiring. 

Gaining credibility wasn't incredibly difficult. All it took was a few old ladies who needed help suing a company here and there for some unwanted and unforeseen side effects to their so-called "feel younger look younger!" drugs and they were in after about two HOA meetings. 

"An old white lady's gossip really _does_ get some traction," the cute little bell Junmyeon installed above the door jingled as Sehun waddled inside, groceries in hand. "The cashier at Shoprite asked me if I was the ' _handsome-looking young man_ ' on our bench poster."

From behind the newspaper, Junmyeon lowers it just enough where he could watch Sehun from over the top of the sports section. "And what did you say?"

"I said ' _no, that's my brother Junmyeon_ '," he laughs. 

Then, they could start their real plan. Robbing banks wasn't exactly easy— the videos on Youtube the two poured over for hours late at night barely taught them anything at all, and almost got them caught the first couple of attempts. (Sehun supposes that a _padlock_ isn't exactly the same as those huge vaults the banks have. And that they should really clear their Youtube history.) Their next option was sneaking into the city's museum, nabbing a few boring paintings from overhyped artists and selling them for hundreds of thousands of dollars. 

It was a simple cycle. In, swipe a painting or maybe a cute sculpture or two, then out.

"Wait," Sehun raised his hand to stop Junmyeon in his rambled explanation of the plan that had popped up into his head overnight. Junmyeon's knee bounced up and down impatiently as Sehun paused to think, as though his failure to spill it out would mean he'd lose this idea forever. "What does us being _lawyers_ have to do with it?"

"I'm getting to that point."

"And how are we going to disguise ourselves when we'd be well-known in the neighborhood by then?"

First of all, Junmyeon, though Sehun (perhaps _fortunately_ ) had forgotten, was a fan of the theatrics. He was the lead in the spring musical almost every year, and was expected to study theatre in university before wrote down "law" as his major. Sehun wanted disguises? Junmyeon could provide, according to the comically-sized chest he pulled out moments after, with wigs and costumes inside.

Second, though originally described as a "simple cycle," his plan was far more intricate after a first glance. Junmyeon would litter the crime scene with just enough evidence to frame someone, while Sehun would scatter more things around so a case could be argued against it.

Their clients, of course, would be the people they framed. They'd meet a town over in the middle of the night and discuss with their client the plan— they'd plant a few fingerprints, scatter some hairs (one of them was insulted by this; he didn't want the police to think he was _balding_ ) and then the client would be arrested.

When asked for a lawyer, Suho & Sehun Law Co. would reach out to them and defend them in court for free and the townsfolk would catch word and once more the two would be considered _angels_ for their " _charity_ ".

With the counterevidence Sehun would've carefully planted, they would win. Their client would go free, and they'd split the money from the paintings they'd stolen into thirds. 

"You two really do seem like brothers," their most recent client- Chanyeol, a kind yet smart troublemaker- said, his feet up on the table as he counted the money Junmyeon had carefully slid over to him following their victory. "You guys even live together too, all for this? And you call yourselves just _co-workers_? Damn."

And then Sehun would laugh and bring up the contract Junmyeon had typed up the first day they decided to work together— there was only one condition on the paper: Don't get too attached. Sure, on the job they were brothers, but when Junmyeon flipped the sign on the door to say " _CLOSED_ " they were nothing more than friends who happened to work together. 

Sometimes, they would mess up. Sehun would leave out a cup of Junmyeon's favorite tea in the morning when he doesn't get up as early. Junmyeon would record that new episode of Jeopardy when Sehun's out grocery shopping just because he likes yelling at the television and whining when he gets the trivia questions wrong. 

Their scheme works well for the first couple of months. Frame, steal, go to court, and then go to town with their newfound money. At some point Junmyeon even wondered if they should keep up the façade anymore; maybe they could actually become a law firm together and ride the rest of their lives with their "sudden" accumulation of money.

He thinks about bringing it up to Sehun. But then he realizes that he'd be admitting that it's comfortable, watching him yell at Susan on Jeopardy for not knowing the temperature at which book paper catches fire, or how he feels at home merely spinning around in his comfy leather office chair as Sehun describes the daily newspaper's political comics. 

Then one day a case goes south. The counterevidence Sehun planted was not enough and Junmyeon's iron defense of their client couldn't keep him out of jail and instead gives him 10 years in prison. 

They look at each other incredulously, and Junmyeon feels the lump in his throat as he desperately tries to swallow the stress away. This time, their client was the head of a criminal gang, and neither of them were looking forward to tonight where they'd have to face dozens of scary-looking buff guys and tell them that their leader will be locked up for approximately 10 years. 

So they drink. Junmyeon suggests it. He pours more and more of their special celebratory wine (might as well go out with a bang, they thought) straight into Sehun's glass an hour before they're supposed to meet up with them. Junmyeon's glass is always almost empty, and Sehun supposes he'll be the designated driver as more liquid floods his own glass.

It's 9:00 when Sehun falls asleep, and Junmyeon begins the long and painful journey of dragging the taller man up into their shared apartment and flops him on the couch as it creaks under the sudden weight. He tucks him in, places a glass of water and an aspirin beside it, and heads out to the meeting.

They're angry. And rightfully so. But when the first foot kicks Junmyeon's shin he thinks, " _This isn't too bad,_ " and then the next foot hits him and the next one. And then soon he's left alone on the pavement in the parking lot behind the abandoned Sears building because they probably got too tired of kicking and didn't want their shoes to be too dirty.

Footsteps come rushing to him as he tries to get rest on the cold ground— the steps are fast and heavy, and Junmyeon wonders if one of the gang members came running back with a second wind in his shoes. 

"Junmyeon! Junmyeon, talk to me." 

Soft fingers grab hold of his cheeks and turns his face towards Sehun, and his face scrunches up just slightly because of the smell of alcohol. Sehun's eyebrows are scrunched together in a similar way, to his surprise. "Junmyeon! Oh my _god_ , you're alive, thank god." 

He hugs him tightly, repeating ' _thank god_ ' as if it was a spell that would magically woosh away all of the ache inside Junmyeon's bones. 

"I thought you were dead," Sehun tells him from over his shoulder— he suspects that it's easier for Sehun to ramble on if Junmyeon couldn't see him, "I woke up and you weren't there and then I remembered that we had the meeting and _I forgot_ and I drank too much—"

"You should've left me here. You didn't have to come." 

"Of course I did."

"No," Junmyeon lets go of him, staring straight at Sehun's eyes, "You should've left me. Because it was all _my_ plan, and I didn't want you dragged into all this. We're just co-workers, anyways."

Sehun jumps up, leaving Junmyeon on the pavement before he yells almost too loudly that he fears people across the street could hear, "Just _co-workers?!_ We've been living together for _months_ now and you still consider us co-workers?! I get your favorite ice cream whenever I go out to the store, I leave the crossword puzzle undone because I know you like doing them, and you think that's something co-workers would casually know about each other?"

"But the contract—"

"Fuck the contract. You're one of my best friends, Junmyeon. And just because we- not only you, _we_ \- fucked up this one time doesn't mean you have to go out by yourself and nearly die out here." 

"Sehun—"

"Do you really think I could live with myself if you died?" He asks, "do you really think I could live if you died without me standing up against it?"

He wonders if the crickets heard Sehun yelling. Because they're speechless, too.

"I..." Junmyeon looks up at him, "I don't only think of us as co-workers, Sehun. I was going to ask you if you wanted to work the law firm with me- like actually work as a lawyer- and we could just ditch this whole thing."

Sehun hums. "Okay. I could do that. What do you think of me as, first?"

He freezes. It's hard, in this moment, because when he's daydreamed about it he's never pictured himself bruised and Sehun almost moved to tears because of him. "Someone I never want to let go of."

"Alright, best friend," He laughs and he pulls up Junmyeon slowly and carefully by the shoulders, supporting his weight by using his arm as something for Junmyeon to rely on. "Let's get you to the hospital. And then we could go home." 

**Author's Note:**

> covering my eyes because i wrote this out quickly bc i love partners in crime trope & i just liked how i wrote it. i hope u enjoyed!


End file.
